Does being overweight absolutely infuriate you? Does it make you feel insecure, and introverted?
Do you look in the mirror and wish your body was different? Are you riddled with self-hate, or even self-disgust to the extent that you hate buying clothes, you can’t take compliments and you avoid socialising?
Do you ever experience a loss of control over food? Or do you ever joke about being a sugar ‘addict’?
Are you a binge eater?
Do you often feel that even when you are on the ‘straight and narrow’ that your crusade is pointless?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, there may be more to your weight than your diet.
Don’t get me wrong, at the end of the day, losing weight comes down to the food that enters your mouth (mostly), but the thing we tend to forget is just how hard it is to get the right food into our mouths, or to even be satisfied with our efforts when we have done so.
I’ve had this conversation going with clients and colleagues since the birth of RMR in 2013.
Is weight a psychological topic, or a physical topic?
The reason I ask is because of two unique types of clients we get (we have tons more than two types, but these two stand out because of how different they are).
Two Opposite Experiences
The first ‘Type’ is someone who is 50kg overweight or more. This client arrives at RMR, gets the advice, sticks to it, loses the weight and carries on with life like nothing happened. They also had a smile on their face the day they walked in and on the day they left. Their experience was one of nutritional insight, followed by a change in behaviour, followed by a change in the body.
They arrived happy and overweight. They left happy and at their goal weight.
The second ‘Type’ is the client who joins RMR with between 5kg and 10kg to lose. This client is miserable. They hate their body and hate themselves. They also REALLY battle to stay on the path.
They arrive unhappy and overweight. They stay unhappy, regardless of what happens to their weight. This client reaches their goal and still isn’t satisfied.
The big question I keep asking is – ‘How can one person who is 50kg overweight have a great self-image and think they’re ‘a bit chubby’, while someone else can be only 10kg overweight and think they’re ‘disgusting’?
And, how can one client get advice and stick to it forever and ever amen, while client two can have all the books in the world and not be able to stay on the straight and narrow for a week?
What’s up with the two clients?
One client has what I call a biology issue. They have eaten the wrong foods, and probably for a long time. The other client has what I call a psychology issue, and probably knows what foods to eat to lose weight, but can’t seem to stick to their diet (no matter what diet it is).
The distinction there is slight, but significant.
One person eats badly, and with the right knowledge, begins to eat well.
The other person eats badly, and even with the right knowledge, can’t keep eating well.
Person-two does not need a new diet. I can’t even count the amount of people I have spoken to in life who say ‘I really need to get my act together! I’m going to see a dietitian to prescribe me a diet’.
A dietitian is not going to get your act together. In most cases a dietitian is going to give you a more personalised version of many of the basics about diet that you already know.
Getting your act together literally means sorting out your ‘act’. And, your ‘act’ is the way you allow the outside world to see you, and can even be the way you act or perceive yourself. However you interpret the last sentence, there is absolutely nothing about food in it. Your act is how you show up to anything.
If you’re struggling to eat clean, the answer is not to ‘eat clean’. That’s like telling an alcoholic who can’t quit drinking, to quit drinking.
“Hey Alcoholic, I know you’re finding it really hard to stop drinking, but what will really help you stop drinking is if you stop drinking”
The client who cannot stick to a diet longer than four weeks (98% of everyone who ever goes on a diet) needs more than some advice on what to eat. And, everything beyond what goes in your mouth is psychology.
I must add that one of the benefits of keto and Banting is that when you reduce your carbs, you also reduce your cravings for more food. This is biology 100%. But, even when you have reduced your carbs, you can still have cravings that are emotional, and those cravings cannot be dampened with any amount of biology (unless you have a vicious stomach flu).
You have probably been told time and again that you need more willpower or discipline to stick to your diet, and that if you were a bit tougher, or a bit stronger, you would get the results that you want.
I would like you to consider the fact that you are more than tough enough to get what you want out of life, but that there is an additional set of tools you may need that no one talks about.
Victoria Webster, our in-house Psychologist, hosts eating psychology workshops every Friday that are specifically designed to address the issues I mentioned above.
If you find yourself to be angry, introverted, insecure, body dysmorphic, riddled with self-hate, addictive, prone to bingeing, lack self-belief, avoid socialising, you hate buying clothes, distrusting of compliments, battle to see the positives, feel worthless or are paralysed by fear, then the eating psychology lectures are a good place for you to start your journey.
With Power,
Jonno
